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Pass the Parcel

 

 

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Scott was an innocent and he always did what his mothers had told him.

 

He remembered all of his mothers, except his real one.  She had not been part of any of his memories because she had not been a part in any of his life.  She had given him away, not in the sense of a gift or a present.  He was like a teddy bear with one eye, looking a bit battered.  But, like the teddy bear, he was not pretty to look at.  Unconventional things never are.  Scott had two eyes and had never been battered.

 

Like a game of pass the parcel Scott had been passed from pillar to post.  All the mothers had been kind, it was in their nature, and it was in Scott’s nature to listen and learn.  Even when he became an adolescent – the time when others of his age rebelled, he did not.  Scott obeyed his mothers – be a good boy, wash and keep yourself clean, have good manners, don’t steal, don’t lie, do not ever lie.

 

So, Scott had learnt to take everything and everyone at face value.

 

Unfortunately, everyone did the same to him.

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Pure as the Driven

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Scott was an extraordinary person.

 

He was exceptional, because he was ordinary when people did not expect him to be so.  Being ordinary was extraordinary these days it seemed.

 

But what factors constitute someone being extraordinary?  It is being unique.  Scott was unique.

 

One of a kind.

 

Scott, unbeknownst to himself, was the only person in the world …

 

… to have never told a lie.

 

His mothers had told him not to lie, so he didn’t.

 

He did not see the point.

 

 

*

**

​

Everyone knows that life is a lie but Scott simply did not see it.  Maybe he was simple; maybe he was simply wise in his simplicity.

 

Maybe people would call it a disability, if vulnerability can be defined as such.

 

If everything is on show, if honesty is foremost, everyone knows who you are.

 

Therefore, you are taken on face value.

 

A label.

 

Even if people do not take the time to read the label properly, do not wash at the right temperature.

 

Reading takes time and people do not always have time.

 

To see – what is there in front of them.

 

*

**

 

Nobody wants to be seen to be vulnerable so they build themselves an armour.  We all protect ourselves and we protect the ones we love. 

 

Scott did not love anyone. 

 

He had not known people long enough throughout his life.  He was fond of them, he was affectionate, as had been all his mothers.  Scott was grateful for the time, but time seemed short.  He was always moved on.

 

From pillar to post.

 

Scott would have been embarrassed if he recognised this, but he did not.  Scott did not do embarrassment.

 

Everything to him was on face value.

 

Like a children’s game he said what he saw and he never told lies.

 

It was not in his nature.

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From a Distance

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Appearances are what define us.  Judgements are made on first appearances.  You cannot fundamentally change the way you look in spite of fashion and make-overs.  Whatever is inside you will prevail; what is outside you will show.  The ugly person will always be ugly.  Sometimes this cannot be seen; sometimes the ugly person is beautiful inside and this too cannot be seen.

 

Everyone could see Scott for what he was.  Scott’s face was open and honest, as was his nature.

 

You can only be totally honest if you never tell lies.

 

Scott never told lies.

 

You could see it in his face.

 

Face value.

 

You could see it a mile off.

 

He was judged a mile off.

 

Because of his face.

 

 

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Handle with Care

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Scott was always taken care of – in care- or in homes that were never his own.  He did not have any horror stories to tell.  If asked he would only tell the truth. 

 

If truth be told, he had been waiting for her.  The one Mother that was true – but she never came.

 

Waiting, awaiting – waiting for the knock, the knock on the door.  Scott had waited all his life.  When it came it was not what he expected.  Scott could not hide his disappointment, even if he had tried.  He did not try.  Scott’s face always told it all – it was an open and honest face.  He was an open book.  Such was his nature.

 

Scott did not read books. 

 

So, when someone comes to redeem, to collect you, to recognise you – a moment in time you have dreamt about – and then you are disappointed, it will show.

 

It will show in your face.

 

Face value.

 

It showed in Scott’s face, the face that was open and honest and could not tell a lie.

 

This person was not his Mother.

 

 

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Follow the Van

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Scott had always wanted his real Mother, and an explanation.  This stranger provided neither.

 

This person, this stranger, would never be his Mother.

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*

**

 

This person was his Father.

 

*

**

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He did not look like Scott, of course he didn’t because he was not the same.  Anyone could see that.  From a mile off.

 

They did not have the same face, and Scott did not recognise him.  How could he?  He had never met him before.

 

The stranger at the door.

 

Who wasn’t his Mother.

 

He said that he had been seeking out Scott and was here to recognise him and to recognise his responsibilities.  So, Scott took him on face value.

 

Of course, he would.

 

Scott believed that people did not tell lies.

 

Because he didn’t.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 A Virtue

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is a difficult situation when the Father you didn’t know about, and have never met, tells you in his opening sentence that your Mother has died.

 

The Mother that Scott had always waited for.

 

So, against his nature – his honest and open nature, he immediately hated this man; the deliverer of bad news.  Scott knew little about life but he knew his feelings were irrational.

 

Every day he had been a good boy and now every day he was a good man.  Every day he kept himself clean, had good manners.  Scott had never stolen anything in his life but this man, this stranger, had stolen his dreams.

 

His Father asked Scott whether he cared.

 

Scott said that he did not.

 

Scott said that he did not want to know this man.

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*

**

 

Scott had been a good boy and now he was a good man.  Scott was unique, he was extraordinary.  Scott was told by his mothers that he had to have standards, things that were important because, at some point, he would have to look after himself; at some point he could no longer be protected by them.

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*

**

 

Today was the first day, the only day, that Scott had told a lie.

 

In fact, he had told two.

 

Bare faced lies.

 

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Taking Stock and Sharing

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Time is a healing process so they say.  They had to get to know each other because they were strangers.

 

They were strangers who had little in common.  Not just because they had no history.

 

It was not like looking in the mirror, because, although they were father and son, they were not alike.

 

Scott did not look like his Father.

 

Scott did not look like his Mother.

 

It was not a family trait.

 

However, Scott was a solid investment.

 

The greatest investment you can give is your time and that is what Gary gave to Scott.

 

If all things were considered, and, if all things were equal, then their course may have run smoother.  But, of course, not all people are considered equal.  People thought that Scott was simple, but he was not.  As often as not he was judged at face value, judging a book by its cover.

 

Scott did not read books.

 

Scott was unique, although if truth be known, he looked like so many others – that is what made him stand out.

 

Many others looked like him – and stood out.

 

It was a trait, if not a family trait.

 

People thought they knew what he was like from a mile off.  They were usually miles off.

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*

**

 

Sometimes it got him down.

 

His syndrome.

 

 

 

 

 

For Pity’s Sake

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was a strange feeling, a strange knowledge that in the five years that he had known Gary (he always called him Gary, never Dad), Scott had learnt not to be pitied.  Scott had learnt by what was told to him.  Gary did not attempt to teach him, to form him like his mothers had done.  However, this strange feeling that Scott had was something he learnt himself, without being told.

 

Gary did not pity him.  It was as simple as that.  Scott had never previously recognised that everyone else did.

 

Gary was just his father.

 

Gary was a plain speaker and, a plain man.  He told Scott the truth.  Scott’s Mother and Father were never really an item and Scott had been a ‘mistake’.  Scott was a mistake that Gary had never known about.  Scott was a mistake that she had kept silent about; it was a secret, kept even from him.  Gary had already gone his own way by then and they had not kept in touch.  It did not seem important at the time.

 

It was his Mother’s sister, therefore Scott’s aunt, who had told Gary the news of his Mother’s death.  Gary went to the funeral.  He did not know whether he had the right, or whether it was the right thing to do.  Gary stayed in the background, where he had always been. 

 

It was a stranger who enquired after his poor son.  It was a son he did not know even existed.  Gary did not understand why his son was described as ‘poor’. 

 

He thought his heart would explode.  Gary was not a brave man but he realised he was a decent man.

 

So, he sought out Scott.

 

 

*

**

 

It had taken Scott five years to realise that the reason why his Father did not pity him was because his Father loved him.

 

Simple.

 

Simple truths.

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*

**

 

Five years ago, Gary had asked Scott whether he cared about his Mother’s death.

 

Five years ago, Scott had told Gary he did not.

 

Five years ago, Gary asked Scott whether he wanted to know him.

 

Five years ago, Scott had told Gary he did not.

 

This was the only day that Scott had ever lied.

 

 

*

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Gary had seen through the lies.

 

He did not take them at face value.

 

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Facing the Facts

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Gary

- 1 -

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gary was not like his father.  Not that he knew what his father looked like.  All photographs were destroyed – torn into shreds after he had left.  Gary was two years of age.  He did not remember his father but, he still remembered his childhood as a time of loss; he was a vacuum in Gary’s life.

 

Growing up, Gary was consumed by hate.  His target of hate was his father – the one he never knew or remembered.  Gary just remembered hate.  It never occurred to Gary to apportion any blame onto his Mother.  He never considered that his Mum could have contributed to his father’s decision.  It was inconceivable.  Mum was always around, except when she was working, which, to a small child, was always.  From the age of four Gary had been left alone at night.  Mum would kiss him good night and be there in the morning to change the sheets when they were damp. 

 

She did this most mornings.

 

However, Mum had to work to support the two of them.  So, when he went to school it wasn’t too bad, at least he had company.

 

Gary did not look like his Mother.  Gary’s complexion was darker and so was his hair.  She seemed frail whilst he was broad.  Gary was a big lad who had a big appetite, especially as he grew.  It was only on reflection that Gary realised that, because of his hunger, his stature, as he grew, she diminished.

 

Sacrifice as only a parent can.

 

Gary’s Mother was tiny and frail.  As Gary ate, his Mother did not, because she could not afford to.  She never said.  It was only in retrospect that Gary realised, looking back. 

 

Everyone is wise in retrospect.

 

There was not a pick on her.

 

Because she had picked that Gary would have a better life than hers.

 

And that was a fact.

 

*

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Gary did not know whether he looked like his father.  He had never seen a photograph.  Gary only knew that he did not want to take after him.

 

That was a fact that he had to face up to.

 

 

 

 

Eve

- 2 -

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was a surprise, and not the conventional thing, when a girl, who is two years older than you, takes an interest.  More than an interest.  Two years, school years, is an enormous gap. 

 

Gary met her through his pal Gina who was in his class.  Eve was her older sister.  Gina and Gary would do homework together and he often went round to her house.  Gary knew that Gina was brighter than him; he knew that in reality it was not just studying together, Gina was helping him.  She always came to his aid.

 

It was at Gina’s house that Gary first saw Eve.

 

It was immediate.  If Gary had felt dumb before, he now felt dumbstruck.  There were no words to describe it.  Gary did not have words.  He was never good at that sort of thing.  He left that to Gina.

 

Gary was infatuated as soon as he saw her.  Eve was everything her little sister wasn’t.  Eve was taller, slimmer, more beautiful; she had more presence and definitely more confidence.  These were qualities a teenage boy looked up to.  Gina was studious, loyal, affectionate and deep; much deeper than Gary could comprehend.  These were qualities that a teenage boy did not look up to.

 

Gina was just there.

 

Eve was the first woman that Gary had ever desired.  Of course, in reality, she wasn’t even a woman but Gary had never seen someone so womanly, someone so possessed.  However, neither of them could see this because they did not look; they were too busy looking at their own reflections.

 

So, it started between them.  Gary and Eve.  Gina was the one to keep watch when they spent their time together.  Dependable Gina.  It was imperative that no-one should know.  They were officially underage.  Well, he was.  And, because of pride, Eve would never admit to seeing someone who was two years younger than her.

 

 

*

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And then Eve got bored.

 

 

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Gina

- 3 -

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When the adventure, the experience, came to an end Gary was in tears.  It was not a good look for a teenage man, or for any man.  He cried all night; he cried in Gina’s arms.

 

In the morning he was contrite.  Gary had realised his mistake.  Gina insisted it did not matter.  In her heart she knew it did matter to her but the scales were imbalanced and Gary had not shed the scales from his eyes concerning Eve.  Gina realised that she had been the consolation prize; she was the silver medal to Eve’s gold.  It had always been the way; second prize, second best.

 

What seems to be tumultuous in our teenage years fades over time.  Time, it is said, heals.  Gary never heard from Eve.  Shortly afterwards the sisters moved abroad with Eve having a very glamourous life by all accounts.  Gina was the only one to give accounts.  Gina was the only one to return. fGina was the only one who kept in contact with Gary.  Even this faded, reduced to cards on special birthdays and Christmas greetings.

 

They had not met in years and Gary did not give it much of a thought.

 

Until Gina got in touch …

 

… with arrangements for a funeral.

 

The funeral of her sister.

 

Gary stayed in the background, as he had always been.

 

It was then that he had learnt about his son – the son he never knew existed.  So, he had to face the facts and man up.

 

 

*

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Gary also learnt that day that Eve’s name was Genevieve.

 

He knew so little about her.

 

 

Gary

- 4 -

 

 

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Gary never wanted to be like his father; the father he did not know how to be like.  All Gary knew was that he was gone, that his father had created a vacuum – and he was not going to do that to his own son.

 

Gary had never been a brave man but now he discovered he could be a decent man.

 

He was not going to be the man his own father had been.

 

Gary had found a purpose in life.  He had found a son and he had found responsibility.

 

 

*

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It took five years before Scott realised that Gary loved him.

 

It took five years for Scott to realise that he had lied.  For one time only in his life.

 

He did care about his Mother and he did want to get to know his Father.  Although Gary had faced this fact immediately it took time for Scott to have the realisation.  Gary had to wait, await.  It was a waiting game.  Just as Scott had waited for his Mother.  It was a trait inherited.  A family trait.

 

However, they had both persevered and overcome their hurdles and everything now seemed to be on face value.

 

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*

**

Except the lie.

 

 

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Eve

- 5 -

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eve had not been able to conceive since she had had an abortion when she was fourteen.

 

Eve had never been a mother.

 

Eve had overshadowed her baby sister throughout their lives – the sister who had watched out for her, watched the corridors, the doors and her sister’s safety.  So, Eve gave something back.  Eve, the one who was always selfish did one act of selflessness in her life.

 

She lied.

 

A bare faced lie.

 

 

*

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She said the boy was hers.

 

People would believe that she would give him away.

 

Not as a gift or a present.

 

Protecting loyalty.  Eve eventually did the right thing, or the thing that they convinced themselves was right.

 

The boy did not belong to her any more than he belonged to any of his other mothers.

 

It was a fact that had never been faced.

 

 

 

Gina

- 6 -

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At the graveyard Gary had made an assumption, as he was supposed to.  It was an assumption that was natural.  All expectations were that Eve would succeed and conceive.

 

The reality was that she did neither.

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*

**

 

It was Scott’s 25th birthday and Gary had organised a party, as he did every year for his son since he had known him.

 

Scott had few friends but all the mothers came – they always did.  They all had affection for the man as he had always had affection for them.  But he never loved them.

 

Scott only loved Gary.

 

Gary thought that he was the only one in the world to love Scott.

 

He was wrong.

 

 

*

**

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If you look at things at face value you do not always see the facts.

 

*

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Scott had a tremendous time because he was lavished with affection and Gary lavished him with gifts.  Gary was determined never to be his father’s son.

 

Gina planted a big sloppy kiss on Scott’s cheek.  Scott pushed her away, saying he was too old for all of that. Secretly, Scott loved it.

 

Scott didn’t really understand love.  He loved Gary and, in heart, he had always loved his Mother – although he had never met her.

 

Everyone else he just took on face value, because Scott had learnt that it was not good to tell lies.

 

Scott was not a brave man but he was a decent man.  It was a family trait.  Today he decided to be a brave man.  It was his birthday after all.

 

He spoke to his Auntie Gina.  He had always liked her.

 

“The best birthday present I could have would be to hear about my Mother because Dad barely remembers any details”.

 

Scott had an open and honest face, an open and honest nature, and Scott never told lies.  So, Gina had to be honest with him.

 

“You want to know about your Mother?  That means you want to know about me?”

 

Scott thought his heart would explode.

 

And so, did Gary.

 

Scott had never called him Dad before.

 

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